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I know this has nothing to do with zx Repairs but I thought everyone could use a laugh



Things to do while driving:

1. Vary your vehicle's speed inversely with the speed limit.
2. Roll down the window and blast talk radio. Attempt to headbang.
3. At stop lights, eye the person in the car next to you suspiciously. With a look of fear, lock your doors.
4. Two words: Chicken suit
5. Write the words "Help Me" on your back window in red paint. The more it looks like blood the better.
6. Have conversations, looking periodically at the passenger seat, when driving alone.
7. Laugh a lot, a whole lot.
8. Stop at green lights
9. Go at red ones.
10. Occasionally wave a stuffed animal/troll doll/Barbie out your window or sunroof. Feel free to make it dance.
11. Eat food that requires silverware.
12. Pass cars, then drive really slowly.
13. Sing without the radio on.
14. Honk frequently without motivation
15. Wave at people often. If they wave back, offer an angry look or obscene gesture.
16. Ask people for Grey Poupon.
17. Let pedestrians know who's boss.
18. Look behind you frequently, with a very parnoid look.
19. Restart your car at every stop light.
20. Hang numerous car-fresheners on the rear-view mirror. Talk to them, stroke them lovingly.
21. Lob burning things in the window of smokers who though their butts out the window.
22. While stopped at a light, piss out the window/sunroof onto other cars.
23. Paint your car with occult symbols.
24. Keep at least five cats in your car.
25. Root (cheer, not snuffle in the mud) for firetrucks.
26. Stop and collect roadkill
27. Stop and pray for roadkill.
28. Throw Spam.
29. Get into the fast lane and gradually...slow...down..to a stop. Then get out and watch the cars. Throw Spam at them.
30. Play with the things that hang from your rear-view mirror at the stoplights.
31. Scream out "My Brakes..where the **** are my brakes"? when speeding down a steep hill.
32. Tell your passengers to "Assume crash positions" or "Prepare for impact."
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